Splelunking. ( Real Life )

So.

I had a colonoscopy. It wasn't as bad as people say it is.

I have no idea what type of pain killers or drugs that they used, but man, they sure worked.

I've been having bowel issues off and on and thought I better get one done, just to see how the ole' tract is doing. I set up the appointment for Tuesday 7am. Their instructions was to drink about two weeks worth of powdered stool softener within two hours and day before and to take some laxatives. We've all had the runs, where you go to the restroom, sit down and proceed to feel like someone is pulling your organs out through your anus.

This was not like that at all. I took the pills, took the powder. Later, I feel the need to have a movement and I go. It was like passing silk. No sweats, no pain, nothing but a smooth sensation. This proceeded for the next several hours every half an hour or so until I had nothing left. Never once did I feel ill or at all weakened, sickened, or stressed. It was a good experience.

So, remember how I said that my appointment was on Tuesday? Yeah they told me not to eat anything at all on Monday. So I did not eat anything from about midnight Sunday to Tuesday morning. About 36 hours worth of nothing but water, powerade and laxatives. I was ravenous hungry that I had my fiancee buy a jug of chicken broth and ate it all. ( It was one of the few foods I could have ).

So I go into the Doctor Tuesday morning, get signed in and I wait watching some Olympic footage. They take me back, I get naked ( woohoo ) and put on one of those robes. They stow my stuff in a bag under my bed. Take blood, etc, a few minutes later they wheel me into the room and talk to me. The nurse tells me she is going to give me something for the pain. It's current 7:10.

I blink and look at the clock.

It says 9:20. It took literally less than five seconds for whatever she gave me to knock me out. They talked to me, took out my IV, and my girl drove us home after we stopped by McDonalds to fill my empty stomach. Mmmmmmmmm, early in the morning burgers. I called them back a couple days ago and they told me what was wrong with me.

Nothing: Everything was clear, your next scheduled colonoscopy is in 2018. Have a good day.