I can't believe it's been a month since I have posted anything. That's what happens when your life is the same cycle day in, day out. I cannot believe I have been at my current job for about eight months now, it does not feel "anywhere" near that long.
My dad is getting a personal defibrillator put in his chest in a few days. It's a relatively small surgical endeavor, it requires tiny incisions and hooking some wires to his heart. Basically, if his heart starts to be at an odd pattern it shocks it back into a steady beat. It's the little brother of the pace maker.
My girlfriend is severely addicted to WoW now, to the point where she stays up literally all night, coming to bed at 7am sometimes, just playing. She is on a RP server, and I love/trust her, but my jealous nature sometimes makes me wonder if things are being done which I would not like to know about. I doubt it, but I've got a jealous/distrustful side to me. I wonder if she felt this way when I was up all night in the past?
Mom's birthday is coming up soon, or rather, it would if she had not passed away years ago. I don't like to think about it, even now it brings me to tears to remember back then.
My mom had MS for about 8-10 years before she passed. For a while my family was separated, it was my two sisters and myself staying in an apartment. For legal reasons we could not live with Dad, thank you Jessica. I'd come home from school now and then to find mom on the floor paralyzed from her MS, and after that I started skipping school to take care of her. Several months after that I was sent to a boy's home for skipping school. Funny, I do something to prevent my mom from getting severely hurt while alone and I get penalized by the state, the same state that made us move out from Dad's house where mom was safe.
She went downhill over the years, from walking normally to needing Canadian canes ( forearm crutches, braced at the wrist not armpit ) to being wheel chair able to being bed ridden. She died when I wasn't there, I spent years at home until I was 20 because I felt like the moment I moved out mom was die. Three months after I moved out of state to work my new job, she died.
It's been years, I forget how many, six or seven, and I miss her all the same. Her life sucked, she was in a foster home, was adopted, her family members commit suicide and then she was diagnosed with MS. All I can hope is that she was happier than I think she was.
I love you mom, and I miss you.
My dad is getting a personal defibrillator put in his chest in a few days. It's a relatively small surgical endeavor, it requires tiny incisions and hooking some wires to his heart. Basically, if his heart starts to be at an odd pattern it shocks it back into a steady beat. It's the little brother of the pace maker.
My girlfriend is severely addicted to WoW now, to the point where she stays up literally all night, coming to bed at 7am sometimes, just playing. She is on a RP server, and I love/trust her, but my jealous nature sometimes makes me wonder if things are being done which I would not like to know about. I doubt it, but I've got a jealous/distrustful side to me. I wonder if she felt this way when I was up all night in the past?
Mom's birthday is coming up soon, or rather, it would if she had not passed away years ago. I don't like to think about it, even now it brings me to tears to remember back then.
My mom had MS for about 8-10 years before she passed. For a while my family was separated, it was my two sisters and myself staying in an apartment. For legal reasons we could not live with Dad, thank you Jessica. I'd come home from school now and then to find mom on the floor paralyzed from her MS, and after that I started skipping school to take care of her. Several months after that I was sent to a boy's home for skipping school. Funny, I do something to prevent my mom from getting severely hurt while alone and I get penalized by the state, the same state that made us move out from Dad's house where mom was safe.
She went downhill over the years, from walking normally to needing Canadian canes ( forearm crutches, braced at the wrist not armpit ) to being wheel chair able to being bed ridden. She died when I wasn't there, I spent years at home until I was 20 because I felt like the moment I moved out mom was die. Three months after I moved out of state to work my new job, she died.
It's been years, I forget how many, six or seven, and I miss her all the same. Her life sucked, she was in a foster home, was adopted, her family members commit suicide and then she was diagnosed with MS. All I can hope is that she was happier than I think she was.
I love you mom, and I miss you.
3 comments:
I too, have a mother with a chronic, debiliating illness. For most of my childhood, I was responsible for helping her as the oldest child. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you remember the good times with her.
I feel like you blame me for what happened to Mom. I'm sorry you feel that way. I go to her grave every chance I get. I hope you can forgive me in time. Even though I don't think I was in the wrong. Dad has changed alot without Mom there. I hope you contact him more than you do me. He is very lonely. I try to see him but the bad memories tend to keep me away more than they should.
By the way i was up at Mom's grave for her birthday yesterday. And it will be 6 years on November 16.
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